and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
