Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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