She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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