i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
