So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
