Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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