How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
