My first STD was from a foam party
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
