dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
