Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
