apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
