i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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