I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
