We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize