Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
