is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
