Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
