He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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