are you so shy because you have an std?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
