Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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