no, he came in my armpit
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it hurts more in the daytime
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize