your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
