But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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