I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
