i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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