WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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