In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
