operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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