i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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