um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
