I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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