Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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