Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
