he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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