Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
