3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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