Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
