im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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