You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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