No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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