A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
