just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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