Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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