every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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