it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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