Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I am one with the molecules
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
