if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
