I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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