4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
