Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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