hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
