When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
