I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize