But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize