I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
