what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
