I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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